Romantic Dating – Your Guide To The Best Dating Sites For Romance

The best part about online dating sites is the opportunity for reinvention. In the real world, I sometimes shy away from approaching the smoldering Adonis or striking up conversation with the intellectual elite. How exactly does one save face when an audience of your closest friends is there to gawk? (It doesn’t matter if they call it “encouragement,” it’s still gawking). Plus, after spending time and money getting my fire engine red pedicure,  slimming black dress, and voluminous mascara that doesn’t smudge, I want my efforts to produce…something –something other than a dull CPA with halitosis. However, in the online dating world, relative anonymity means that I can take risks. This includes exploring an option that I have been hesitant to pursue in a real world context – women.

I’ve found that most people frown upon uncovering your sexuality once you hit 30. At that point, they figured that you have reached a conclusion and should focus your energies on one gender. Even if you remain uncertain about the exact qualities you want in a person, you must be solid in your determination of whether their first name will end in a soft vowel sound, Christina, Brianna, Trisha, or something more rugged, Christopher, Brian, Trevor. Part of their frustration can be attributed to how your sexual preference impacts where you’ll spend the evening. Are you and your friends venturing out for a night at the smooth jazz lounge or spicing it up with boa donned men? (Not to say that all gay men wear boas when they go out. In fact, I don’t think I have ever come across gay men donned in boas with the exception of the last Pride parade).  Regardless, after a certain age, friends tend to be uncomfortable not knowing exactly how to peg the person who will peak your interest. Throwing sexual preference into the mix complicates their determination that much more. Plus, it takes time to come to terms with not knowing exactly what you want. How can you be sure that you will have the 2.5 kids, a white picket fence, and be elected to preside over the P.T.A. if you’re not even certain of whether your future partner will be male or female?

Despite how uneasy exploring your sexuality can be, it shouldn’t stop you from developing a better sense of self. For this reason, I am grateful that when I am online, I can at least begin to solidify whether I want something different from my next relationship or if more of the same sates my appetite for companionship.

Bon appétit.

I hate to be a killjoy and say that women are the reason that chivalry is dead…but why refrain from stating the truth? Not only have the last three guys I’ve dined with at Starbucks not offered to pay for my $2.00 cup of coffee, they stared wistfully at me in hopes of combining our orders. Although there are some women who would have been just fine pooling together resources at the cash register on a first date, I have to admit that I like being spoiled from time to time- or at least treated to a latté.

What’s even more perplexing than a man who shamelessly relies on a dolled up stranger to provide his java is a woman who cringes at good manners. Why is it that so many women are threatened by the word “chivalry”? The Oxford Dictionary defines it as “courteous behavior.” For me at least, this evokes images of people who chew with their mouths closed, ask how your afternoon progressed, and save their flatulence for anyone but you. In weaker moments, it also calls to mind men with ripped abs and British accents. However, none of these pictures pose a threat to my understanding of who I am as a woman or undermine my femininity. If anything, being respectful of others is an attribute we can all aspire to uphold. Isn’t it?

During my tenure as a woman seeking a serious relationship, my friends have advised me to take the progressive route and deviate from online dating conventions. In other words, they wanted me to ask men out, stop shaving my pits, and even take ownership of proposing marriage. All of which is well and good – for some. It wasn’t until I stood paralyzed in front of my 20something barista, hoping that I wouldn’t leave my date with first degree burns, that I realized I am not a  woman who wants absolute control. I learned that seeking a considerate companion isn’t admission of weakness, simply a preference.

So the next time my internet match wants to connect in the real world, I will insist that we try something loftier than the generic coffee spot  - and that he arrive with wallet in hand!